Tell Me More
Tell me more, tell me more-
These words, reminiscent of the youthful summer musical “Grease” (you started singing it, didn’t you?) are actually a fabulous communication tool and moderation strategy.
Although the film itself has little to do with labor, birth, postpartum and parenting, those three words do.
Tell me more
The process of becoming parents is a difficult one, filled with questions, laden with anxieties and charged with emotions. Those emotions often will lead us to ask questions of care providers that may address the underlying concerns we have and may not. Emotions are kind of funny in the way they tangle up our thoughts.
Most people will ask these questions of their care providers, which is a good start. As involved as many care providers want to be though, they just simply are not able to devote as much time to answering questions as is needed to uncover and resolve deep concerns.
That’s where we come in.
Rather than try to read minds and assume what questions you have, we ask.
We listen attentively and actively and then we say, “tell me more.” The more we listen, the more we can help. Whether it’s a concern that you have about the hospital or birth center, or a question about breastfeeding or bottle feeding, or anything else that comes with this parenting gig. We say, “tell me more.” We want to know not just your questions, but also the concerns that you have that prompt this question.
We also understand that there are some circumstances that will increase a couple’s risk of postpartum depression; and there are some safeguards that are possible to place before the birth. Whenever a client asks us questions about conception, IVF, IUI or fertility challenges, we always say, “tell me more.”
When a parent asks us about long labor, difficult birth, sleep problems for multiples or singletons, we say, “tell me more.”
When someone asks us about urinary tract infections, yeast infections, back pain or headaches, we say, (you guessed it) “tell me more.”
It may sound redundant, but think for a moment about all the circumstances in your life where you are rushed (or rushing) and don’t feel heard. At the bank, at the corner restaurant, in the store, in traffic, at the office; we live a fast paced life that doesn’t always make room for listening.
“I was going to ask, but they were so busy . . .”
Or perhaps you felt heard at the time, so you go on with your day and then as you’re falling asleep that night you realize that you have another question now.
“Oh no! I forgot to ask . . .”
Imagine what peace is available when you have someone who can listen, attentively and actively, focusing all of their attention and energy on you, and on receiving your message. The message you are communicating both verbally and non-verbally.
In the telling of your concerns, many of those emotions, expectations and anxieties untangle themselves. The high priority items are left, and we can put together a plan that addresses those priorities.
Imagine what life would be like if we all did this as parents. “Tell me more,” we would say. Tell me more.